Thursday, October 24, 2013

darker days

sister megan on the left. me far right.

Darker Days Ahead.
Understatement of the year.
Some moments i am totally fine. Others, i'm a hot mess.

I had chest pain yesterday i was freaking out so much about all this family drama. sometimes i hate family and their crap. then i remember they are family. I wish i had not agreed to return for the service and reception. Its turning into an effing wedding with all the shiznat my mother is planning. I am struggling with people (family members) not respecting each other's grief, or just being straight up rude. I am especially protective if someone mean or insulting to my spouse who has done nothing other than try to help. That includes encouraging me to drink, and tearing me away from my mother when i wanted to choke her. So he has his hands full. He is not a 'member' of the family, so stop being a jerk off to him. Thats how it goes with my huge drama filled family.

Oh well. Some days are harder than others.
honestly im just ready for it to be over.
I have seriously considered going on anti anxiety meds this last 2 weeks.
i might actually need it.
I really need a run. Free therapy, man.
so why can't i just get out there and hit the pavement? its snowing lightly, its not like i havent run in worse.

funky town. i guess thats where i am.
Upside read this 'song' my sister's boyfriend, SCHVEN (is what we will call him on here) txted her.

i like him already.

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